Facing A Difficult Conversation?

What stories do you create about an upcoming difficult conversation? This person’s previous managers or close friends were all impacted by the behavior in question, and yet no one has addressed it. You imagine how the person is going to react and it makes you cringe. Your stomach starts to churn, your head begins to pound, and you ask yourself why I am the one stuck with providing this feedback. You tell yourself “This isn’t fair”, and you would never do this to someone else. Just because no one else had the courage to provide the feedback, you think to yourself “why am I stuck with delivering it”. Now you feel like the victim in this situation. Wait, maybe if you ignore things, the situation will fix itself or it will just go away. Sound familiar?

Let’s take a step back and breathe.

Where is your mindset? Focus on your thoughts – are you setting yourself up for failure or success? What if you were to work backwards? What does a successful conversation with this person look like? Envision that exact moment. Break it down into sections, what do you notice?

What’s the win-win in this conversation? How does this person grow from this conversation? What’s your intention? Put yourself in this person’s shoes; be open to explore the situation from their perspective. How does empathy play into the conversation? How can you work together on finding a solution? What can you both learn from this conversation? We grow outside our comfort zone, not while we are safely tucked inside it. You are likely the first courageous person to have this conversation. Be brave, courageous, and humble.

We all tend to follow a process when receiving feedback, similar to SARAH: (1) Shock, (2) Anger, (3) Rejection, (4) Acceptance, (5) Help; or the Feedback Staircase: (1) Reject, (2) Defend, (3) Explain, (4) Understand, (5) Change/Develop/Remain. Allow the receiver to go through their own process of moving from Step 1 to Step 5. Realize you may already be at step 5 coming into the conversation. The magic may happen during the initial discussion or days after the conversation.

Find a trusted resource and get all the negativity out- get it off your chest and just vent. How could practicing the conversation help prepare you? Pay attention to what comes up during venting and practicing. What values are being trampled on? What feelings come up for you? What buttons are easy for others to push around these feelings? What assumptions are you making? Pay attention and reflect on everything. How can you leverage what you just learned?

What if you start with curiosity?

Where is your mindset now?

Enjoy your journey.

Grow your business through people.