Gremlins, Limiting Beliefs and Assumptions, oh my!

We often get in our own way, and we don’t even realize it. We hold ourselves back, we play small, or paralyze ourselves with fear of being seen as a fraud. That’s right, we do it to ourselves. How? By creating stories that depict us as being not good enough, not deserving, not smart enough, the list goes on. Sounds vicious, doesn’t it?

I would like to introduce you to Elizabeth, she is a partner in a financial advisory firm. She is extremely knowledgeable and very respected by her clients and the organization. Her gremlin is Fred, as he constantly reminds her that the other firm partners have more experience and knowledge than she does. He reminds her that she doesn’t have that fancy new certification and she is quickly falling behind. When Elizabeth listens to Fred, her mind fills with self-doubt and imposter syndrome begins to take over.

I can’t leave out Robert, the CFO of a professional staffing firm. He is also extremely knowledgeable and has driven change within the finance department. His limiting beliefs are that, because he is 15 years younger and didn’t graduate from an Ivy League school like the rest of the C-Suite, he is not respected by his peers. He sees his age and education as a barrier to respect, based on his current belief system. Every time he plays this story in his mind, self-doubt and imposter syndrome begin to take over.

Any of this sound familiar?

What could self-doubt and imposter syndrome feel like?

Many high achievers and successful people feel like they are undeserving of their success. They feel as though they are wearing a mask, a protective façade that hides what they believe to be the truth from everyone- “I am not as competent or intelligent as others might think”. Imagine the stress of constantly waiting “for all this to come crumbling down” and the weight of maintaining the masquerade. Constantly walking on eggshells is exhausting. I knew a colleague that kept a box under his desk, just to be ready for when the day came. Yet, I saw him as one of the smartest people I ever worked with during my career. Around 70 percent of adults experience impostor syndrome at least once in their lifetime, it is more common than you may think. And if you are feeling it, realize you are not alone. So, breathe and know there are ways to combat it.

How to deal with Gremlins, Limiting Beliefs and Assumptions?

A friend shared with Elizabeth that she had struggled with self-doubt too. Her friend found that writing down a list of all the things she accomplished in her life helped her overcome what was holding her back. Elizabeth explained the process as turning around 180 degrees and looking back on the mountain range behind her, the one that she traversed professionally and personally. She said the mountain in front of her was no longer intimidating and she would take it one step at a time, which got her to where she is today. She put Fred in his place, no longer comparing herself to others but comparing herself to her own set of KPI’s. She also became a mentor for a senior manager in the firm.

Robert asked for a leadership coach to work with him. Robert invested the time exploring his beliefs, their origins and how they were working for him today. He discovered the difference between True and Truth. The word True is your perspective of something. The word TRUTH is universal and cannot be changed. With this knowledge he re-examined some of his belief systems to combat self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

If you are feeling self-doubt and feel like an imposter, reach out to someone as a mentor or coach. If you happen to lead someone dealing with self-doubt, how can you support them? If your leader is experiencing imposter syndrome, what can you do to support their growth and reduce your stress?

Enjoy your journey.

Grow your business and people together.